Self Inflicted Nonsense

We had a weekend in which we were traveling quite a bit in the car. When that happens, I usually am a poor planner and we end up eating the dreaded fast food. Yes, I should know better, especially since I made a bold prediction of losing a boat load of weight. There is actually "good news" on that front. I had a couple of body compositions done using different formulas and my absolute lean body weight is 213 pounds. So, unless I amputate body parts, I will not be getting below 200 pounds anytime soon.

On Sunday morning, the exercise ritual began with a lot of aches and pains. The knots in my thighs were so huge and painful and referred pain into my hips. I set out on my bike ride after stretching and moving to get things loosened up a bit.

As I started on the bike, I thought to myself, "You know, the pain is your fault because of your food choices." I could not argue with myself. Everything I was feeling was certainly self inflicted. Self Inflicted NONsense..As I was pedaling, I shortened "self inflicted nonsense" to SIN.

What? SIN? And you know what? Sin is also self inflicted nonsense. Think about it for a second. No one forces us to sin. Take Adam and Eve for instance with the first sins against God. Adam TRIED to blame Eve but Adam was more than well aware of the instructions they had received from God. Adam did it to himself, or self inflicted the act. And, the act was for a nonsensical reason. Adam and Eve LIVED IN PARADISE. and they threw it all away for nothing.

The opportunity for us to sin WILL cross our path. There has not been a person yet who was not faced with sin. It can be a great big sin, or it can be a little, itsy bitsy sin. However, sin IS sin and it is not graded on size.

Now back to my muscle pain..I KNOW that my aches, pains and myofascial problems can be worsened with poor dietary choices. I know that eating with Kings and Clowns will only bring me down. Instead of planning and making a wise choice, I settled for the convenient choice and paid the consequences. I am talking about 20-30 minutes of hard labor with a foam roller and "The Stick" and take it from me, that is no fun.

Choices and consequences go a lot deeper than muscle pain. Kind David, like the rest of us, had a choice when it came to Bathsheeba. He could have walked away, but instead he really made a tangled mess of things. He certainly had consequences to his actions. If a person eats crap, then their legs will hurt and if a person commits a sin, then there will be a consequence and/or a punishment.

You know what is really bad? Chocolate tastes so sinfully good. It lures me in and I indulge only to feel the pain in the muscles and at the scales. Temptation is attractive. If sin was not attractive, we would never fall prey to it. Knowledge sounded good to Adam and Eve. It represented power. Temptation and sin will appeal to us on some level.

How do we deal with Self Inflicted Nonsense? First, we need to RECOGNIZE that it exists. The allure of cupcakes looms in my future and I must recognize that a cupcake will not kill me, but I can assure you that the foam roller will be needed. Next, I must UNDERSTAND my limitations. I know my weaknesses and need to know that I am vulnerable to those weaknesses. And finally, I need to firmly and emphatically say. "NO" because there is too much at stake. Oh, look, to deal with SIN (Self Inflicted Nonsense) a simple strategy is to RUN...sometimes as fast as one can.

On that note, I break in a new pair of running shoes in the morning..

Thought Control

2:15 AM

Somewhere

Someone's mind (maybe yours)

"What am I going to do? What if that job doesn't come through? How am I going to pay the rent? I should have not quit that other job. That was stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. No wonder I am alone. Who would want to be around me? What am I going to do about my weight? My clothes don't fit. I am so weak. Weak and stupid! Now that is a combination..Geez, it is after 2 AM and I am still awake. I bet I oversleep in the morning. What if I miss that interview?....."

Does this happen to you or anyone else you know? This example is Stinking Thinking on Steroids. In the "biz", we call this rumination. I explain it as how a cow chews a cud. Mentally, we chew and chew only to yak it up and chew it all over again. Sure, I have talked about worry on other posts but today, I am searching for empowerment and control.

Thoughts like I described in the beginning of this blog possess power. There is no denying that thoughts like that control a person. The thoughts control a person's rest pattern (up at 2:15 AM), control one's emotions, and eventually will control one's actions and effort. Thoughts can leave a person exhausted, bewildered, frustrated and defeated. All of this arises from thoughts conceived in your own mind. These thoughts are YOUR WORK. And some of you do not think your thoughts count or have power. Humpf, your thoughts can make or break you. Remember that.

Think of it this way: In the example above, the thoughts are holding the person hostage. In other words, those nasty, hateful thoughts are calling the shots in regards to sleep and esteem. As sleep dwindles, so does solid decision making and as decision making falls apart, so does self esteem. Then a poor self esteem builds more worries and soon you are hold on to the horse on the "merry go 'round" of worry and rumination...step right up for another free ride!!!

ENOUGH! This blog has never, and will never, apologize for its Christian base. I do not care if I ever gain more than 12 followers. (I do appreciate you guys that do read me though). Last night, at a local service, a testimony talked about taking thoughts captive. Here are 2 versions of that verse (2 Corinthians 10:5)

2 Corinthians 10:5

Contemporary English Version (CEV)

⁵ and every bit of pride that keeps anyone from knowing God. We capture people’s thoughts and make them obey Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Wow, instead of our thoughts holding us hostage, we are instructed here to take the thoughts captive and make THEM obedient to Christ. I think it was bold of Paul to put it this way. Remember, in his day, every time a nation was overtaken, the survivors became captive slaves. I would think that being held captive was a particularly frightening reality. By informing us that we had the right and obligation to take those nasty thought and put them away, Paul educates Christians then and now not to tolerate crappy thoughts any longer.

What thoughts can we hold captive? Of course we can hold those sinful thoughts captive and get them out of our thinking pattern. You know the ones I am talking about-the ones that you feel ashamed that you have but they keep coming back anyways. Paul also means any thought provided by the enemy that makes a person feel less than how God intended you to be. I have heard it said, "God does not make junk".

Earlier I told you to remember that your thoughts can make or break you. I am sure you all acknowledged times in your life where your thoughts broke you down and defeated you. But, if you agree that thoughts can BREAK you, then you must accept that thoughts can MAKE YOU. THOUGHTS CAN MAKE YOU. It is as simple as ABC--To achieive, you must believe what you conceive.

I am begging to be a big believer in affirmations. You must believe that you are unique and special. Those of you that really know me understand if I was there with you, I would reaffirm that you are special and have wonderful, God given and blessed traits. I still fall prey to the thinking at the beginning of the blog. I talk to myself in these blogs as much as I do to anyone else. So, take those nasty thoughts, lock them up and beat them down if the resist.

Good or bad, happy or sad..

Psalm 42 :11 "Why am I discouraged?
                          Why am I restless?
                                                    I trust you!
                          And I will praise you again
                                                        because you help me,
                                                        and you are my God. 

The last post disclosed my favorite professional catch phrases that I tend to use, and sometimes, over use. As a Christian, I believe we have "catch phrases" that roll off out tongue without any deep thought or consideration. Sadly, one of those may be "praise the Lord".

If any of you have ever seen the movie "Facing the Giants", you will recall when the Cinderella high school team lost a heartbreaking game, the coach told his players to praise God in defeat just as they would in victory. And, as the movie goes, an amazing second chance happened for the team and the loss did not count. The movie had a happy ending, just as one would expect from a Christian based film. I believe with all of my being that because I am a Christian, there will be a happy ending for me in eternity. It is the basic foundation of my Faith.

As humans, we struggle with a lot of plot twists in route to our happy ending. Sure, it is easy and natural to praise God when we are scoring touchdowns and much harder to do when we fumble in life or when we fall short. It is easy to praise Him when the day is going great and much more difficult to do when we wake up at 3 AM and immediately we feel the heartache and depression that reminds us we are in fact alive. Praising God is what we need to be doing when the back pain makes us miserable and legs and hips hurt and ache when we sit, stand or lay down. We should be praising Him when we dread our "dream" job because, well, nightmares are dreams, too. It is easy to praise God when we see our young child smile and laugh but is it as easy when we know we have an estrangement from another child who barely has spoken to us in 5 years? 

When we confidently conquer any challenge in our life, saying "Praise the Lord" flows off our tongue without effort. When we are drowning in self doubt, disappointment and fear, do those words ring true in our heart and roll off our tongues? Is that not when we should be praising  Him and praying more? Instead, as the carnage of life piles up, we become more distant and distracted from leaning on Him. Our failures and mistakes cloud our vision.

Heartache, physical pain, depression and disappointments are all part of the package of being human and as I said before, prove we are alive. The fact that we are alive gives us hope, even if it is a speck in an ocean of doubt, fear, worry, stress, and a million other experiences we would rather not face individually, not to mention in unison. Hope should immediately provoke praise that flows freely and more than counters the negative junk we are experiencing.

So (there is my word again), what do we do when everything that happens only complicates the bleak situation and produces more pain, depression, frustration, and uncertainty? In keeping it real, what do we do when the job stinks, finances are scary, and the bitter taste of defeat and failure makes you sick? For me, I am going to praise God, put on my running shoes, and force myself to remember that God loves me when things are good or bad, happy or sad, and that the glint of hope I can see through the fog of life proves that He is not done with me yet.

Just Breathe

"Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table"

These lyrics come from Anna Nalick's song Just Breathe (2AM). It has been a very long time since I blogged. The last entry occurred just prior to an event that I looked forward to more than just about anything and that event ended up full of heartache and disappointment. That experience led to a deep fog covering me and my entire being. Sadness, professional disenchantment, bills, financial worries, IEP meetings, aches, pains, illness, weight gain, and a million other things began weighing me down. Yesterday, I had no idea that I would write a blog today because I had the MOAM--Mother of All Migraines. In fact my head is still sore.

I awakened to a dream that I had stopped by a gas station and bought three, big juicy taquitos. Oh, momma did they look good. When I awakened, I decided I had a choice. I could lie in bed and fight sleep wishing I could get another 5 minutes, or I could get up and restart my running. I have just gotten gotten over an ugly URI so stopping running was not one of conscious decisions of withdrawal that I have been prone to the last couple of months. I laced up the old running shoes (which by the way are as broken down as I am but I don't see a new pair of shoes in my budget anytime soon) and started a new 10K program.

That is when I heard Ms. Nalick's song. Granted, I do not get out much and I do not listen to the radio often so even though it is a critically acclaimed song, it was new to me.

We really cannot jump the tracks. We head down the track of life and the only thing we have control over is the speed of our journey. The hourglass is glued to the table but each grain of sand is precious and has enormous potential. I have sat by and watched too many grains just fall into the heap of used moments. Sure, I would like to slow down the trickle of sand. 

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

 Later in the song, Ms. Nalick does it gain by adding perspective to those like me who "what if" themselves to death. Even though the song is not a 'chipper' song, I took comfort in the fact that I am not be alone. Funny thing, I advise others all day long on how to gain perspective in their world yet the fog clouds my own vision.

My mental state reminds me of Fargo in the spring when the ground is still covered with snow, the road is wet, but not frozen and the sky is gray from fog. It can be best described as gloomy with a chance of the sun sneaking through the fog. The air was always so incredibly fresh and pleasant. Looking back, I loved those days in Fargo and some of my best running occurred on days like that.

I really do firmly believe that God has things in store for me. I admit, the fog of uncertainty, self doubt and worry still cover my landscape. At least for this moment, I am focused on my cable car headed down the track and I vow to enjoy the view today.

Meet my guest blogger: Missy Radune

I have had the opportunity to meet people who I admire. Working in health care allowed me to meet Missy. I have read many of her Facebook posts and have felt uplifted and motivated by her words. I am not a selfish guy. I am sharing her words with you. 

First, I would like to thank John for asking me to contribute to his blog. It means a lot to me that he believes that I may be able to say something that may help someone. I will start by introducing myself. I am Missy Radune. I am a nurse for the Department of Veterans Affairs in Chillicothe, Ohio. I met John while he was working in a Veterans Community Based Outpatient Clinic. I am honored to call him a friend.  I have been married for 15 years to the most amazing man ever. We have three children. Connor, a seventh grader, Baleigh, a fourth grader, and our miracle son Cooper who is 4.  I have had many struggles in life but know that with God anything is possible.

I grew up in a small Christian Holiness Church in Kentucky, no, no snake handling. One thing that I learned growing up was the power and God in any situation, IF you give it all to God.

As I grew up, I would see many people’s lives changing. I would see parents praying for their children. I would hear children praying for their parents. I would see the love of a parent and a child; a love like no other.

I began to realize when I married and started having a family the sacrifice that God gave to us, by allowing his son to die for our sins. I could not imagine allowing one of my three children to be sacrificed so that others would be saved. But God loved us that much. God loved me even before he knew me, just like my parents loved me before they ever held me. Just like I had love for my three children the minute I knew God had blessed me with them.

Imagine what it must have been like for God to know that his son would have to die. Not just a normal death, such as a heart attack or death from old age, but Jesus had to suffer. Jesus had to give it all to God and say, “I’m yours, let it be finished.” Do you think that Jesus struggled in turning everything over to God? I think so, when he asked why he had been forsaken. God doesn’t want us  to suffer. God doesn’t want to us to hold anything back. God wants it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. God wants to take our lives, no matter how important or how minute and turn it into something wonderful.

Do I struggle in giving it all to God? Sure, an Christian does at some point in their life. What I strive for is to take one day at a time. As obstacles come before me, I try to focus on how God wants me to handle them. If I can’t do that alone, I ask God to help me. Life isn’t easy. I try to remember that with each curve ball that life throws at me, God is in the outfield. He is making sure that I can make around the bases because all God wants is for each of us to make it “HOME”.

Philippians 4:11 I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.

3 Ways to be Happy

You wake up in the morning and you hear the birds singing. “Why are they so happy?” Soon you imagine the neighbor’s cat finally catching the bird in the bird bath. You smile as the song “Circle of Life” plays in your mind. Chipper birds need to die on a regular basis and that satisfies your sleepy and grumpy soul.

Seriously, birds do not have mortgages, thankless jobs or squabbling kids. Heck, birds throw their young out of the nest at an early age. You run all this stuff through your head before you even open your eyes. Slowly, your eyes open and you realize the Rapture did not come and you are, indeed, ready to face another day. And, the new day is probably very similar to yesterday.

However, YOU have decided that today you will not have a bad day. You will not wish death upon the birds of the sky. You will not let dumb people strike a gold rush of sarcasm from your vast cache of stored bitterness. You are going to have a joyful day and you are going to like it.

Before I am accused of huffing inhalants or starting my new career as an alcoholic, I faced the same grumpiness this morning. I woke up at 4:30AM and it was a “running” day. So I stand up and immediately get into the floor because my feet, legs, hips and back refuse to operate functionally until I stretch. On the wood floors  in my bedroom, I fussed to myself that I am too old for all of this and I could really start tomorrow. To prove I have not lost my mind, I fussed QUIETLY because if I woke up my wife grumbling, then the bird in the tree stands a better chance of living until breakfast.

I finally go outside and it feels like I stepped into a slab of roast beef. Hot and humid at 4:45AM. Really? That just prompted more grumbling and then a couple blocks from the house, it hit me.

Make today a joyous day! Whoa, wait a minute, I am sweating and the Tin Man before oil moves better than me. Again, my brain tells me, “Have a joyous day!”. I have learned just to give in and trust God when my mind starts doing this. So, I tell God, “Okay, Dad, you win and will You show me how?”

Asking God for direction when I am unsure of the possibility DOES make sense. So, as I trod up and down the street, I began asking for guidance and came up with 3 simple ways to add joy. Maybe there would have been more but hypoxia from running may have limited the suggestions. I am to running what a grizzly bear is to tennis: We are both really hairy and the actions are unnatural.

Here are 3 ways to add joy in your day.

1  

L    LAUGH. With me, I either laugh at myself or I laugh at what comes out of my mind. I am easily entertained. I also enjoy hearing my wife and kids laugh and I go out of my way to make people smile and laugh at work. Remember, I work in a prison so although I have a captive audience, they are a bit of a hard crowd.

2   

      Do SOMETHING nice for someone you would not normally do. Remember when it was thought Boy Scouts would help little old people across the street? It was a good deed. I am not talking a huge thing, but I am talking about a random act of kindness. I was in line at the store the other day and the person in front of me miscalculated tax. Hey, it happens but they were 25 cents short. Well, they were not buying alcohol, cigarettes or weapons of mass destruction, so I just reached up and gave them a quarter. I mostly appreciated the shock on their face as they realized a complete stranger gave them a quarter.

3 

           Give someone a sincere compliment. Do this WITHOUT seeking secondary gain. Do not compliment the hot co-worker you have been dying to talk to.Jobs have sexual harassment laws and the idea of violating these laws will not add joy to your life. If you do this, it may free up some of your time, but your financial situation will suffer. Tell a co-worker how much you value their input. I can usually find a way to compliment my patients, even though they are prisoners. To me, they ARE not defined by their offense and they need to remember that God made them and, well, God does not make junk.

See, 3 easy ways to add joy to your life. If you don’t like these you can try:

1.     Watching 3 Stooges videos on YouTube

2.     Read an article or a book from an author you find funny

3.     Tell an old and corny joke

4.     Remember and share a funny story. I have TONS of there about my kids.

5.     Find a kid, play with them and soon you will smile.

Have a great day

Grace wins over truth..this time

The dentist. I hate those two words and the experiences related to them. Nothing ever goes well when I go and pain usually follows. Yesterday, pain was minimal but hurt and anger were definitely challenging.

I have a bad tooth and we as a family were not sure if it would be pulled. I have found out that dentists do not pull teeth. Anyway, Denise took the kids and we all went. Mathias loves doctor offices and he found some books to read. He then started asking if he could go back to the dental chair with me and I told him that he could not go. Mathias had been up since about 5:45AM and fatigue was not helping. He began to cry and we could tell that core meltdown was imment. It was like a nuclear power plant and we knew we would have to isolate the situation of toxic radiation in the form of a full fledged, snot slinging fit. So Denise hit the elevator button and one would have thought the building had 200 floors and not 3. Needless to say, she was dragging him into the elevator crying.

Whew, I thought, situation resolved. But no, as one of the dental staff came out for another client just after the elevator door shut. She said to him in a wonderfully sarcastic tone that print does not capture, "Are you ready to go back? I know I would be if I had to be out here with THAT"

"THAT" referred to my son. My precious little man who has overcome more in his short life than anyone else in that office combined. Immediately, I could feel the OLD John begin to rise. My close friends will tell you that few have been gifted (or cursed) with a mouth and mind better to be sarcastic, sardonic, and downright cutting. I, too, wanted to just leave but I knew Denise would be frustrated with me because my tooth was killing me.

Then I recalled Pastor Steve's sermon on Sunday. Do I tell them pure TRUTH, which, well, sometimes the truth can be ugly and so can I? Or do I temper it with grace and allow anger to subside before I respond? I opted for grace.

Anger happens. We all know that Jesus showed anger but did not sin. That tells me that anger is allowed but care must be taken not to sin.

So this morning, after a good night sleep on ibuprofen and benadryl and a run this morning, I sent this letter to the dentist:

I want to first than your office for the care that I received yesterday. Secondly, I want to inform you that my family will not be returning to your office and that we will seek care elsewhere. I have a precious son named Mathias, who is 5 years old and he has a condition known as Prader Willi Syndrome. With this, he has some developmental delay issues. He wanted to come with me yesterday and my wife Denise and I do our best to provide him typical experiences. Well, he became upset when we told him that he could not go with me when I was called and started crying. My wife began removing him from the waiting area and it took a bit for the elevator to come. Needless to say, he figured out the elevator meant he was leaving and began crying harder. One of your staff, came out to get another client just as the elevator door closed.

"Are you ready to come back? I know I'd be ready to come back if I had to sit out here with this", is what she said to the other client. If she knew I was his dad, then she certainly was more rude than I thought.

I have been a nurse since 1986. Sometimes staff need to refrain from unflattering remarks because they may be ignorant to who is listening. My son is my precious jewel, no matter if he is laughing or if he is crying. To disrespect him angers me and makes me feel pity for those who are careless enough to be rude.

So, I feel that grace and time served me better than truth. What a battle! I thank God for convicting my heart.

What about you guys? Any truth/grace stories?

Truth, Grace and a Parental "Ah Ha" Moment

 We are trying to get 10 year old Madi to participate in the "have to" things around the house. Yes, she is being more accountable for the "C" word: chores. It has been pretty Medieval around here as she has had gnashing of teeth and screams that would make the London Tower proud. Knowing Madi, I am surprised Geraldo Rivera has not been here doing a story on the senseless exploitation of children. Yes, she would do that.

Last night, I did one of her chores (I know, enabler alert), but I surprised her and Denise with a little sweet treat that they like. Since I did the bulk of the dishes, I asked Madi to finish them up in appreciation for the fact I did her work and I made her a treat. I am beginning to feel the "Yes Daddy" I hear is not what I interpret it to be.

This past Sunday, our Pastor Steve taught about truth and grace and how Jesus had equal parts of both. Yes, we need the truth but yes we all need grace as well. Too much of one without the other leaves things unbalanced. Unbalanced things in our lives lead to issues most of the time.

This morning, I get up for my run. As I go past the sink, I see ALL THE DISHES she was supposed to take care of! I mean, you can see how upset I am as I ended a sentence in a preposition! Immediately I think that I should make a big deal out of it, lay down the truth about chores and her lack of initiative and motivation and then suddenly and quietly, I hear a voice saying, "What about you?"

God took that moment to convict my heart. God has been patiently trying to lead me down another path and I am like a dog at the end of a leash that hates to walk. I procrastinate, rationalize the reasons for my inactivity (some of which are pretty good..I need to play with my kids more, I already work a meaningful job, I help out a lot around the house..I could go on. Really I could) and just plain do not do what I honestly feel God wants me to do. Maybe, like Madi, I think if I don't do it my Dad will just take care of me and do it Himself.

I wake up most mornings before 3 AM and the first thing I realize is that I did not do what I know I need to do the previous day. Man does that frustrate me.

Romans 7:15 (Contemporary English Version (CEV)

¹⁵ In fact, I don’t understand why I act the way I do. I don’t do what I know is right. I do the things I hate. 

I know I want my Heavenly Father to be gracious and patient with me. I know I do not want chastised and yelled at for not doing what I know I am supposed to do. As a dad, I see the potential in all my kids and I wonder sometimes why they don't see it and why they seem to be happy with stagnation and under utilizing their potential. 

I know I want my kids to be accountable, self motivated, ambitious and fearless, and I see that if the head of the family was those things, they would naturally follow. 


I know I am not alone in feeling the way Paul felt in Romans. How do you struggle with truth, grace and please share an "ah ha" moment of your own.

Mission Possible

Here is a story for you. We are going to get this really old guy who is a farmer by trade. We are going to ask him to hand build an enormous boat. He has never seen a boat but he is up to the task. Additionally, he is going to gather up all the animals and make sure they make it on this boat. Oh, and the best part, this old man has 200 years to complete this boat.

I have another one. There is a nation that is known for war. I mean, that is all the Wiki site says about them: "They are very bad dudes and they make war". They eat, sleep and fight and might give up the first two. In their ranks is the biggest, baddest killer on the planet. He is HUGE and he is battle tested and just the sight of him is scary (not to mention the smell which is a weapon of mass destruction in itself). But, he loses his life in a battle with a teenage boy and a slingshot. It was the kid's first experience in mortal combat.

Both of these stories sound impossible and the things that tall tales are made of. Impossible, and the notion of impossibility, come from our own minds (much like fear). For years, it was "impossible" for man to run a mile under 4 minutes and for a man to fly.

We, as humans, succumb to impossible way too much. Humans fail to conceive the power and magnitude of God. Nothing is impossible (My son Mathias constantly sings a song with these words in the lyrics) when it is God's will. Jesus speaks simply and directly about this in Luke 18:27:

             ²⁷ Jesus replied, “There are some things that people cannot do, but God can do anything.”

So now an example closer to home. Anyone who has known me for a while would have told you I would have been the least likely person they knew to complete a 40 day fast. I was the master of findng loose change for snacks and knew the cost of my favorite value meals to the penny. I was an eating machine. But, God placed on my heart the need for a fast and He took me by the arm and I finished 40 days. That was a miracle and I would have never thought it possible.

Life presents challenges, tragedies, happiness and dreams. All of those things make us human. God can deliver so much more than our minds can conceive. Sometimes, it takes us getting out of our own way and letting God work in our lives. If you think surrendering that kind of control is impossible, ah ha, think again, because nothing is impossible. Don't make me get all cheesy and remind you all that "IMPOSSIBLE" is nothing more than "I (a)M POSSIBLE".

The Undynamic Duo

I have always appreciated a good duo. As a kid, I loved Batman and Robin, the really cheesy TV show of the 1960s. There are too many pictures of me wearing a Batman outfit. Then, of course, I must not forget peanut butter and jelly. I am thinking of starting a new 12 step program for peanut butter addiction. Furthermore, I have enjoyed Abbott and Costello, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, and Jake and Elwood Blues. By the way, I should get special bonus points for using the word 'furthermore' in a blog.

I can think of one duo I do not like: guilt and regret. Talk about some joy thieves! These two criminal elements may be merely thoughts but they can destroy you mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. No, I do not think that it is an accident that guilt and regret can destroy the very ways one is supposed to use to love and honor God. Guilt and regret gnaw at the foundation of life and jeopardize the integrity of one's personal structure.

GUILT
Merriam- Webster defines guilt as "feelings of culpability (meriting condemnation or blame especially as wrong or harmful) especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy". So, in other words, guilt requires one to take blame and notice the end of the definition. It says for IMAGINED offenses and from a SENSE OF INADEQUACY. Once one starts stockpiling a sense of inadequacy, they start questioning their abilities, which in turn crushes confidence, motivation and momentum. Guilt derails the train of life.

In my first entry, I mention some important influences in my life. One is Annie Armen and she and I had a discussion about guilt one day. Annie holds nothing back. She unleashes an honesty in a caring way that lives up to her nickname "The Hurricane". What I took from Annie that day I have shared with so many people. Guilt and TRUTH cannot sit at the same table. Guilt comes with condemnation, most of which is self directed. If one feels guilty about something, the situation requires an honest and genuine appraisal. The truth, even though it may hurt, must be acknowledged. Once the truth is defined, it must be accepted. Notice I did not say, "it must be LIKED". The truth may hurt but the truth will free you from guilt.


We have all done something that activates guilt. We fret about it, stew on it and sometimes even shed buckets of tears about it. But, in our most private moments, we KNOW the truth about it and we have to come to grips with our mistake, error or lapse in judgment. Accept the truth and every time your brain tries to invoke the guilt clause, stop and remember that you know the truth and knowing that frees you from guilt. This takes work, but work is better than guilt, right?


REGRET
Regret is defined by Merriam-Webster as "to be very sorry for". You hear this all the time and it is popular in movies. At the climax scene of the movie, someone with breathlessly say, "I have no regrets..", and then something dramatic happens to them, like falling from a cliff. Most of us have said or done something that later that provokes us to feel remorse. With sincere remorse comes a sense of really being sorry for our actions. Time and time again people will say they regret their actions and all of us wonder if they regret the actual act or they regret they got caught in the act. Regardless, regret exists. Regret and self control cannot sit at the same table. If I control my tongue, I limit the regretful things I may say. If I control my urges, then I limit the regretful acts I commit. 


I think we all have regrets if we are honest because we have all done some, well, not so smart things in our life. I have no ability to change the past and I have to accept the truth about things, acknowledge my mistakes, ask forgiveness, and have a resolve to make better decisions in order to escape the whole guilt/regret complex. I want to be like Timothy, not only at the end of my life, but strive to be like him at the end of each day. 


2Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" Do not let guilt and regret make you miserable. YOU have control over these vile offenders. Team up with God and make your own Dynamic Duo and defeat Regret and Guilt. Just remember, you and me..we are the side kicks. God is the superhero. Maybe soon we will take on the villain Worry. But, tune in tomorrow. Same Blog title. Same blog Channel. And if you need me before then, activate the Blog Signal.