Life According to Ralphie Parker

Who makes late June reference to the Christmas classic A Christmas Story? Ralphie Parker can teach us all about life in 3 simple steps.

LESSON 1: Remember the scene with the bully Scut Farkas? Ralphie tells us that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I am not advocating beating a bully until his nose bleeds but hang with me when we apply that to life. We all have a single life to live. I can speak for me and say I know I do not make the best of it some days. Life is like Farkas and steals our lunch money and makes us scream "Uncle" when our life is twisted into a chicken wing. We all say, "Tomorrow will be different" or "Tomorrow I will start the diet."All that does ia give us permission to undermine our goals by taking advantage of the gas station sale of 2 extra large candy bars for the price of one. Seriously, I am only being a conscientious shopper and I will save one for later (if you really want to believe that).

Ralphie could not take the stress of the bully anymore and he emptied a big ol can of whoop butt on Farkas. When we decide to finally do something, we can change our lives. Like one of my favorite authors Tim Ferriss says, ""Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough rationalization." 

So, it is that easy huh? I mean, I am frustrated beyond belief that I have not acheived the level of success I want to in all my endeavors. Sure, I talk about change and I can freely type about change but deep down, I realize that Scut Farkas could have whooped Ralphie in an old fashioned, school yard fashion. Why did Ralphie do it? 


LESSON 2: Ralphie stopped thinking and JUST DID IT. This trips a lot of us up and keeps us stuck in the storm ditch of life. I have heard the saying "paralysis by analysis", meaning that inaction will result if we continually sit and look at all the possibilities. What if I left the security of a JOB and ventured out with an understanding collaborative doc and built a practice based on "me" and my abilities? See, then I will see my self like Ralphie selling pencils but not from soap poisoning but from a waiting room full of crickets chirping. People who really know me know I am "THE idea guy". I have great ideas and know I possess the ability to brainstorm. I have quite the inventory of ideas. All are SAFELY placed on a shelf so I can commiserate about them when I am really old. Think how pitiful (if not pathetic) it would be if we allowed our plans and ideas to dry rot sitting on that shelf. Maybe our dreams would touch the lives of others and not only bless those around us, but also change their lives.


LESSON 3: NEVER forget what you want, even if it could put your eye out. Remember, the dang gun almost did put his eye out! But, you know what? IT DID NOT and he enjoyed the fruits of his dreaming labor. Ralphie never lost sight (pun intended) of what he really wanted.


I guess, for this to happen, a person has to really know what they want. That desire almost becomes a mission statement for your life. I have FINALLY learned that I must pursue my dream like an occupation or career. If you don't, you end up treating your dream like a hobby and a person can surely live without fullfilling their "hobby dreams". Also note that I said "I must pursue" these dreams and I mean that NO ONE else is as committed to your dreams as you are. More often than not, help is NOT on the way. To get the boulder of life moving, one must exert lots of effort. As the dreaded Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda said

 " The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. PERSPIRATION!"

One life is all we have. We can choose to live (which is far from safe and has many risks) or we can exist (which is safer but less rewarding). One takes courage and the other only requires a pulse. The choice of living is easy to talk about and hard to do while existing is tough to swallow but easy to do.

Wow, this ended up deeper than I intended. Leave it to me to rain on a Christmas classic. What is your favorite scene of the movie and can you relate to Ralphie?

The Undynamic Duo

I have always appreciated a good duo. As a kid, I loved Batman and Robin, the really cheesy TV show of the 1960s. There are too many pictures of me wearing a Batman outfit. Then, of course, I must not forget peanut butter and jelly. I am thinking of starting a new 12 step program for peanut butter addiction. Furthermore, I have enjoyed Abbott and Costello, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, and Jake and Elwood Blues. By the way, I should get special bonus points for using the word 'furthermore' in a blog.

I can think of one duo I do not like: guilt and regret. Talk about some joy thieves! These two criminal elements may be merely thoughts but they can destroy you mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. No, I do not think that it is an accident that guilt and regret can destroy the very ways one is supposed to use to love and honor God. Guilt and regret gnaw at the foundation of life and jeopardize the integrity of one's personal structure.

GUILT
Merriam- Webster defines guilt as "feelings of culpability (meriting condemnation or blame especially as wrong or harmful) especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy". So, in other words, guilt requires one to take blame and notice the end of the definition. It says for IMAGINED offenses and from a SENSE OF INADEQUACY. Once one starts stockpiling a sense of inadequacy, they start questioning their abilities, which in turn crushes confidence, motivation and momentum. Guilt derails the train of life.

In my first entry, I mention some important influences in my life. One is Annie Armen and she and I had a discussion about guilt one day. Annie holds nothing back. She unleashes an honesty in a caring way that lives up to her nickname "The Hurricane". What I took from Annie that day I have shared with so many people. Guilt and TRUTH cannot sit at the same table. Guilt comes with condemnation, most of which is self directed. If one feels guilty about something, the situation requires an honest and genuine appraisal. The truth, even though it may hurt, must be acknowledged. Once the truth is defined, it must be accepted. Notice I did not say, "it must be LIKED". The truth may hurt but the truth will free you from guilt.


We have all done something that activates guilt. We fret about it, stew on it and sometimes even shed buckets of tears about it. But, in our most private moments, we KNOW the truth about it and we have to come to grips with our mistake, error or lapse in judgment. Accept the truth and every time your brain tries to invoke the guilt clause, stop and remember that you know the truth and knowing that frees you from guilt. This takes work, but work is better than guilt, right?


REGRET
Regret is defined by Merriam-Webster as "to be very sorry for". You hear this all the time and it is popular in movies. At the climax scene of the movie, someone with breathlessly say, "I have no regrets..", and then something dramatic happens to them, like falling from a cliff. Most of us have said or done something that later that provokes us to feel remorse. With sincere remorse comes a sense of really being sorry for our actions. Time and time again people will say they regret their actions and all of us wonder if they regret the actual act or they regret they got caught in the act. Regardless, regret exists. Regret and self control cannot sit at the same table. If I control my tongue, I limit the regretful things I may say. If I control my urges, then I limit the regretful acts I commit. 


I think we all have regrets if we are honest because we have all done some, well, not so smart things in our life. I have no ability to change the past and I have to accept the truth about things, acknowledge my mistakes, ask forgiveness, and have a resolve to make better decisions in order to escape the whole guilt/regret complex. I want to be like Timothy, not only at the end of my life, but strive to be like him at the end of each day. 


2Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" Do not let guilt and regret make you miserable. YOU have control over these vile offenders. Team up with God and make your own Dynamic Duo and defeat Regret and Guilt. Just remember, you and me..we are the side kicks. God is the superhero. Maybe soon we will take on the villain Worry. But, tune in tomorrow. Same Blog title. Same blog Channel. And if you need me before then, activate the Blog Signal.