Square pegs in round holes

Have you ever tried to force something to work or force something to fit? Around here, my wife says that is just the "Hipes" way just because we may lean our way into rooms, elevators, etc. I prefer the word "lean" over "push" but I am splitting hairs here. The technique works for luggage in a trunk, grocery bags being carried at one time, and other things where the space needed is snug for the object being placed.

Life, especially work, is like this, too. A job may sound great on paper, but once you start working, you see that supervisors may not share your same vision, philosophy, or direction. It happens in social settings, such as clubs and churches, too.

Yeah, I know the world is not Polly Ann-ish and that no situation is perfectly ideal. We juggle the reality of a situation with the "perfect" picture and have to come to a compromise somewhere in between. The real key is how a person deals with that incongruency. If a person is ok with the compromise and rationalizes that the reality of the situation is acceptable, then a person can "keep on keeping on" in that setting. But, if anyone is like me, the incongruency may keep a person up at night and just never "feels right", then a change must be made. I know I often quote Tim Ferriss but once again, it fits:

"Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough rationalization."

We all have a lot of square pegs and round holes. I find it funny that people are quick to offer solutions to another person's peg and hole situation. I mean, they have a surplus of pegs but are ready to offer solutions to someone else? Mind your own pegs! And here is how:

1. Realize only YOU have control over YOU. No one MAKES you feel anything; you chose to feel. YOU have situations that you will endure as long as you convince yourself the positive outweighs the negative. Sadly, rationalization proves stronger than courage most of the time. Just sayin'.

2. A situation likely will not change PASSIVELY. Do you really think that the incongruency will correct itself? Think of it logically, if not mathematically--will 50 ever be 30 again? Nada. Nyet. No way. 

3. Action takes courage and usually does better if there is a plan. Do not like your job? Quitting makes sense but having a job lined up makes even more sense. Been there, done that. 

4. YOU live with your decisions. YOU make a choice, and then a consequence follows. Sure, your choice may affect others...but remember number 1 applies to everyone and not just you. 

5. Life on earth is really short. Do you have a dream? Do you see yourself doing something else? Being something else?

Be on the lookout for square holes and round pegs. Do not settle.

Life According to Ralphie Parker

Who makes late June reference to the Christmas classic A Christmas Story? Ralphie Parker can teach us all about life in 3 simple steps.

LESSON 1: Remember the scene with the bully Scut Farkas? Ralphie tells us that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I am not advocating beating a bully until his nose bleeds but hang with me when we apply that to life. We all have a single life to live. I can speak for me and say I know I do not make the best of it some days. Life is like Farkas and steals our lunch money and makes us scream "Uncle" when our life is twisted into a chicken wing. We all say, "Tomorrow will be different" or "Tomorrow I will start the diet."All that does ia give us permission to undermine our goals by taking advantage of the gas station sale of 2 extra large candy bars for the price of one. Seriously, I am only being a conscientious shopper and I will save one for later (if you really want to believe that).

Ralphie could not take the stress of the bully anymore and he emptied a big ol can of whoop butt on Farkas. When we decide to finally do something, we can change our lives. Like one of my favorite authors Tim Ferriss says, ""Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough rationalization." 

So, it is that easy huh? I mean, I am frustrated beyond belief that I have not acheived the level of success I want to in all my endeavors. Sure, I talk about change and I can freely type about change but deep down, I realize that Scut Farkas could have whooped Ralphie in an old fashioned, school yard fashion. Why did Ralphie do it? 


LESSON 2: Ralphie stopped thinking and JUST DID IT. This trips a lot of us up and keeps us stuck in the storm ditch of life. I have heard the saying "paralysis by analysis", meaning that inaction will result if we continually sit and look at all the possibilities. What if I left the security of a JOB and ventured out with an understanding collaborative doc and built a practice based on "me" and my abilities? See, then I will see my self like Ralphie selling pencils but not from soap poisoning but from a waiting room full of crickets chirping. People who really know me know I am "THE idea guy". I have great ideas and know I possess the ability to brainstorm. I have quite the inventory of ideas. All are SAFELY placed on a shelf so I can commiserate about them when I am really old. Think how pitiful (if not pathetic) it would be if we allowed our plans and ideas to dry rot sitting on that shelf. Maybe our dreams would touch the lives of others and not only bless those around us, but also change their lives.


LESSON 3: NEVER forget what you want, even if it could put your eye out. Remember, the dang gun almost did put his eye out! But, you know what? IT DID NOT and he enjoyed the fruits of his dreaming labor. Ralphie never lost sight (pun intended) of what he really wanted.


I guess, for this to happen, a person has to really know what they want. That desire almost becomes a mission statement for your life. I have FINALLY learned that I must pursue my dream like an occupation or career. If you don't, you end up treating your dream like a hobby and a person can surely live without fullfilling their "hobby dreams". Also note that I said "I must pursue" these dreams and I mean that NO ONE else is as committed to your dreams as you are. More often than not, help is NOT on the way. To get the boulder of life moving, one must exert lots of effort. As the dreaded Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda said

 " The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. PERSPIRATION!"

One life is all we have. We can choose to live (which is far from safe and has many risks) or we can exist (which is safer but less rewarding). One takes courage and the other only requires a pulse. The choice of living is easy to talk about and hard to do while existing is tough to swallow but easy to do.

Wow, this ended up deeper than I intended. Leave it to me to rain on a Christmas classic. What is your favorite scene of the movie and can you relate to Ralphie?

Happens on my watch

MATTHEW 18:18 CEV. “I promise you that God in heaven will allow whatever you
allow on earth, but he will not allow anything you don't allow”.

Wow. I know that I have read that scripture before but today it provoked quite a bit of thought and self appraisal. It is amusing how “self-appraisal” always makes me say “ouch”. My mind raced as I went through my “issues roladex” tagging all the things that I allow to happen or exist in my life. These things happen on MY watch. These items, some small and some large, infiltrate my life at every turn. I “allow” myself to work in a job that deeply frustrates me at many levels. I have been a professional nurse since the mid 1980s and the health care culture as well as the business culture has changed into something that devalues and employee and respect has been fossilized. But, I go to work every day and “allow” myself to be treated in ways I prefer not to be treated. I “allow” myself to overeat and compromise my personal health. I “allow“worry to enter my mind and steal my joy, sleep and peace of mind. And, sadly and possibly most profoundly, I allow fear to dictate and control my life as I sit submissively by and watch the gift of life pass. I allow myself to “live” in fear although doing this resembles dying more than living. I allow my mind to rationalize my fear-enriched thoughts to convince myself that the status quo is OK and acceptable.

This is a big mind, spirit and even a little bit of a heart issue. My mind holds on to my insecurities with a firm grip. Rarely are situations and tasks as bad as my mind makes them out to be. Spiritually, I really should KNOW better because God’s word and Jesus’ teachings are full of hope and success. Doubt and fear ruin my witness and slow down the growth. And, deep down in my heart I must begin to feel that I am worthy. But, I am figuring out that if I give out with sincerity what I want to receive, I will in fact receive what will make my heart heal. One of my favorite authors, Tim Ferriss wrote, “Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough clever
rationalization.” So, Ferriss and Matthew are on the same page yet centuries apart. If I allow bad, then I am in control of that and if I change the situation and work to allow good, then good will happen. Got to love God, don’t you?