You ever known a kid who absolutely struggles with school? This kid aces the academics but cannot handle the social aspects. It is a guy who is so painfully shy that it becomes obvious as nervousness overcomes him. He gets tongue tied, he gets sweaty and anxious, and physically he becomes a wreck. His reaction to stress, which may be as minor as talking to a girl, causes others to take notice and laugh or poke fun at him. As a result, the boy stays far away from all dances and bonfires. He defines "socially awkward".
I was that guy. I can still remember girls laughing and poking fun at me just to see me blush or sweat. And, believe me, I can name names if I need to as I certainly have not forgotten the pain. When the rest of my friends were dating, I shot free throws in my driveway. As a result, after a period of warm up, I can still ht between 5-8 BACKWARD free throws. This is a skill without a lot of applicability in life, however.
I finally and slowly overcame shyness. I have devoted a lifetime and a career helping people to the best of my ability. I have spent a lifetime helping people seek out their inner beauty when they do not see it through the veil of life's pain. Most days, I do not even think about the painful past, but I have to admit I really have no desire to do anything associated with former high school "buddies".
Last night, out of the blue, I was insulted on a social media site. Someone from "those days" inferred that I was never and would never be attractive. OK, I can see that evidence in the mirror, but this person has no idea what my inner attractiveness may be. You see, they did not speak to me back then to assess the "real" me and they have no idea what makes me tick today. I guess I did not let this water run off my back like I normally do. In some of the settings in which I have worked (prison, state hospitals) I have been called some pretty inventive names. But, last night some bones were dug up close to Halloween.
How do we deal with stuff like that when it arises?
1. Avoid the primal response. As I re-read the comment made the second time (the first time I was shocked and did not absorb it all), my mind conjured up some not so nice quick responses that most would admit they would entertain. What good would that response do? None. Instead, I simply mentioned that I did not appreciate an insult that apparently aged like cheese for 30 years.
2. Understand that people will always be critical. It does not matter how much I feel I have helped people and how I think my life's work matters to mankind, man (or woman) possess individual agendas and motives that are in no way connected to me. Expressing them, I suppose, is cheaper than the therapy they may need.
3. "To thine own self, be true". My life continues despite someone's opinion. Yes, I look back at the experiences from middle and high school with great disdain. To me, it is like thinking about last year's stomach flu. I am glad its over and never want to experience it again.
I would be a liar if I said the comment did not bother me. It did cost me a few minutes of sleep.This morning, it motivates me to look deeper inside myself and really see what I am. Things, big or small, helpful or hurtful, happen for a reason.
Body..Mind..Heart...Soul
Showing posts with label self appraisal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self appraisal. Show all posts
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
3 Ways to Combat Disappointment
I have an idea for a great vacation. I want to go to Vancouver Island and spend a week hiking and camping in the woods looking for Bigfoot. I want to do the night hikes, the calls, the wood knocking and spend time kayaking around the island. To me, this sounds like an amazing adventure. To my surprise, when I mention this plan to my wife Denise, she politely listens and then says in a calm, quiet manner, "No." It does not sound like much fun to her and she is sure the kids would not like it either. And after reflection, I am not sure how I would deal with the 50 pounds of cheese we would need to go with all the "whine" Denise, Madi and Mathias would be serving. My point is, even though it seemed perfect to me (still does BTW), my vision was not shared by my family.
Daily I talk to people who are disappointed. They are disappointed in themselves or they are disappointed in someone else. Many times, this disappointment leads to arguments, tears and sadly, bloodshed. When people are disappointed, they feel let down, betrayed or ignored. I never claimed to be a genius, but being let down, betrayed and ignored do not rank highly on the ways people want to feel. Now, utilizing my familiar Stooges Rule (3 things or bullet points to a topic), I will share 3 ways to combat disappointment.
1. Do NOT place your dreams, ideas or expectations on someone else's behavior. My idea of a vacation is not shared as fun or worthwhile. Have you ever heard anyone say, "I did not like the way they treated me at that party."? The person slighted them or maybe poked fun of them in front of someone they were hoping to impress. The slighted person gets angry and hurt because they thought the other person was their friend or had their back. What happened is that a person became hurt over the actions of another they could not control. You want your kid to be a brain surgeon? All parents want their kids to succeed but remember that some kids want to be the best starving artist they can be. In other words, do not define another person's success based on your standards. If you have underaged children, of course this doe not fully apply: they will do as you say, when you say...(sarcasm intended)
2. Make sure your vision is not clouded. Perception can be seriously impacted by cloudy or foggy conditions. This is where I ask you to stretch your comfort zone. Our cloudy vision often occurs without out knowledge. Years and years of experiences-some good, some bad- lead to conclusions that we rarely challenge. For years, I assumed that the Bible says a person will go to Hell if they commit suicide. That statement is nowhere to be found in the Holy Bible. People feel that network marketing is an illegal pyramid scheme but the truth is a few bad business apples have ruined the perception of the industry. I personally know some very genuine people who are living a dream lifestyle helping others. Open your mind to possibilities as long as those possibilities are legal, ethical and moral. I also recommend that the ideas also fall in line with your core spiritual values.
3. DO NOT accept expectations placed on you that are not in YOUR interest. People want to control other people. It is human nature. Anxiety rises when a person tries to meet the expectations of another that they just cannot meet. Insecurity begins to blossom and then all of a sudden, a person has a bumper crop of insecurity. Again, the boundaries must be defined by ethics, legality and morality. As Billy Shakes said, "To thine own self be true." Strive to meet your OWN expectations. If others do not like this approach, they need to read #1.
Today, you will either place an expectation on yourself or someone else. Chances are, an expectation or two may not be met. It is not the end of the world. It is merely a new staring point. Success has more than one path and surely more than one definition.
Daily I talk to people who are disappointed. They are disappointed in themselves or they are disappointed in someone else. Many times, this disappointment leads to arguments, tears and sadly, bloodshed. When people are disappointed, they feel let down, betrayed or ignored. I never claimed to be a genius, but being let down, betrayed and ignored do not rank highly on the ways people want to feel. Now, utilizing my familiar Stooges Rule (3 things or bullet points to a topic), I will share 3 ways to combat disappointment.
1. Do NOT place your dreams, ideas or expectations on someone else's behavior. My idea of a vacation is not shared as fun or worthwhile. Have you ever heard anyone say, "I did not like the way they treated me at that party."? The person slighted them or maybe poked fun of them in front of someone they were hoping to impress. The slighted person gets angry and hurt because they thought the other person was their friend or had their back. What happened is that a person became hurt over the actions of another they could not control. You want your kid to be a brain surgeon? All parents want their kids to succeed but remember that some kids want to be the best starving artist they can be. In other words, do not define another person's success based on your standards. If you have underaged children, of course this doe not fully apply: they will do as you say, when you say...(sarcasm intended)
2. Make sure your vision is not clouded. Perception can be seriously impacted by cloudy or foggy conditions. This is where I ask you to stretch your comfort zone. Our cloudy vision often occurs without out knowledge. Years and years of experiences-some good, some bad- lead to conclusions that we rarely challenge. For years, I assumed that the Bible says a person will go to Hell if they commit suicide. That statement is nowhere to be found in the Holy Bible. People feel that network marketing is an illegal pyramid scheme but the truth is a few bad business apples have ruined the perception of the industry. I personally know some very genuine people who are living a dream lifestyle helping others. Open your mind to possibilities as long as those possibilities are legal, ethical and moral. I also recommend that the ideas also fall in line with your core spiritual values.
3. DO NOT accept expectations placed on you that are not in YOUR interest. People want to control other people. It is human nature. Anxiety rises when a person tries to meet the expectations of another that they just cannot meet. Insecurity begins to blossom and then all of a sudden, a person has a bumper crop of insecurity. Again, the boundaries must be defined by ethics, legality and morality. As Billy Shakes said, "To thine own self be true." Strive to meet your OWN expectations. If others do not like this approach, they need to read #1.
Today, you will either place an expectation on yourself or someone else. Chances are, an expectation or two may not be met. It is not the end of the world. It is merely a new staring point. Success has more than one path and surely more than one definition.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
You have done it now!
I write a blog to rid my mind of the many thoughts that bounce around in there. I write my blog to help anyone that I can. I am, by nature, a nurturer. I have belonged to the sisterhood of nursing since 1986. Honestly, I think I would love to stop being a nurturer but unsure if I can do that.
In the last 10 years, I have met and talked to some people who have made me think deeply. Some of those people have been those I was supposed to help and bless but they helped and blessed me. Some have been co-workers who have expand my ability to see a situation. And a couple have been higher profile individuals who remain pretty real despite their success. Two, in particular, encourage others to seek their passion and the money will follow. In a sense, if you do what you really love, then the rest will take care of itself. They proclaim that if you are making a living doing something you love and would ordinarily do because it is fun, then work will not seem like work. Paul Finck and Annie Armen are motivators with different styles--like Sanchez and Tebow. I know, the Jets are not having a great year but both qbs have been successful and both are different.
Now I have gone and done it. Not by comparing Paul to Sanchez and Annie to Tebow, but by sitting here and typing this, I am finally jumping off into the deep end of the pool. My LIFE, PROFESSION and REPUTATION are at stake.
I posted this on Facebook a second ago:
Some of you know, I dabble in a blog. Yesterday, I shared some views about accountability strategies for changes we want in our life. Little did I know that Mathias would have an epically horrible day at school yesterday. Both Denise and I know he will struggle throughout his life with behavior and with his weight. Funny how one can locate one's inner hypocrite during quiet reflection. I am going out on a branch of the limb of the tree that I am not sure can support me. In a sense, I am yelling from the mountaintop that NOW is the time I begin a serious battle against my personal obesity because I am a walking and talking hypocrite to a little boy who will be nagged, monitored and chastised for his weight. January 18 will be a Friday and is 100 days away. I will weigh 100 pounds less than I do
now.
Sure the goal sounds like a bit much. I will separate the chaff from the wheat and see who are my real supporters and those who, well, aren't. How does my challenge apply to my passion? If you ever want bored for hours, let me sit and talk to you about fitness, health, and exercise. I am the mega-nerd when it comes to that stuff. Geez, I got a 100% on my nutrition final in college, a sad but true statement. During these 100 days, I am viewing myself as my own client and I am aiming to seek completing of the American Council of Exercise (ACE) certification as a Health Coach. THAT is my professional passion. That is where I feel I have been given gifts.
So, now, I sit back and see who stands with me and who does not.
In the last 10 years, I have met and talked to some people who have made me think deeply. Some of those people have been those I was supposed to help and bless but they helped and blessed me. Some have been co-workers who have expand my ability to see a situation. And a couple have been higher profile individuals who remain pretty real despite their success. Two, in particular, encourage others to seek their passion and the money will follow. In a sense, if you do what you really love, then the rest will take care of itself. They proclaim that if you are making a living doing something you love and would ordinarily do because it is fun, then work will not seem like work. Paul Finck and Annie Armen are motivators with different styles--like Sanchez and Tebow. I know, the Jets are not having a great year but both qbs have been successful and both are different.
Now I have gone and done it. Not by comparing Paul to Sanchez and Annie to Tebow, but by sitting here and typing this, I am finally jumping off into the deep end of the pool. My LIFE, PROFESSION and REPUTATION are at stake.
I posted this on Facebook a second ago:
Some of you know, I dabble in a blog. Yesterday, I shared some views about accountability strategies for changes we want in our life. Little did I know that Mathias would have an epically horrible day at school yesterday. Both Denise and I know he will struggle throughout his life with behavior and with his weight. Funny how one can locate one's inner hypocrite during quiet reflection. I am going out on a branch of the limb of the tree that I am not sure can support me. In a sense, I am yelling from the mountaintop that NOW is the time I begin a serious battle against my personal obesity because I am a walking and talking hypocrite to a little boy who will be nagged, monitored and chastised for his weight. January 18 will be a Friday and is 100 days away. I will weigh 100 pounds less than I do
now.
Sure the goal sounds like a bit much. I will separate the chaff from the wheat and see who are my real supporters and those who, well, aren't. How does my challenge apply to my passion? If you ever want bored for hours, let me sit and talk to you about fitness, health, and exercise. I am the mega-nerd when it comes to that stuff. Geez, I got a 100% on my nutrition final in college, a sad but true statement. During these 100 days, I am viewing myself as my own client and I am aiming to seek completing of the American Council of Exercise (ACE) certification as a Health Coach. THAT is my professional passion. That is where I feel I have been given gifts.
So, now, I sit back and see who stands with me and who does not.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Genesis and 5 thoughts for goal setting
The Bible leads off with "In the beginning". For a moment, let us take Christianity and Judaism out of the equation. Even the staunchest of Atheists would have to recognize that the Bible, in one form or another, has been around a long time. The Bible's longevity defies understanding as so many other things such as cultures, empires and ways of life have come and gone. There have been billions of copies throughout the ages and this all time best seller started with those 3 simple words.
The beginning of the Bible describes the formation stage of our earth and our universe. God's plans and actions are spelled out and defined. Creation. Wow, that one word carries a lot of weight.
Daily, we go about our lives creating things in our little worlds. Think of the the catch phrases and cliches that revolve around creation. Are you creating new opportunities or are you creating a new product? Maybe you are exercising in the creative arts or praising a new favorite artist for their creativity. Football season is coming and we will hear about how Tim Tebow can create quickly on his feet when 11 guys are trying to catch him. I am sitting here in the dark at 5:30am trying to create a blog that has more than eleven subscribers. (I'm just saying. I suppose that is 77 in dog subscribers, huh?)
Now that we have determined that creation lives all around us, we must look at goal setting. I remember in the 1980s when meetings were held all the time about everything. Guru after guru peddled their "creative" approach to goal setting. Hour after hour were spent reading books, listening to tapes or attending lectures where we all wore "Hi, my name is ___". Each expert put their spin on the topic of goal setting. Many of these gurus are still around and even more are no longer relevant. I guess they did not apply their goal setting to long term goals. And, there is one thing still alive and kicking-The BIBLE.
The way I see it, the wheel does not need invented. Why don't we use what we can find just about anywhere to help us how to set goals for creating something? Hey, if the plan worked for creating the world, surely we can apply it to starting a small business or creating a great meal. Here are 5 lessons we can use and apply from Genesis 1.
1. GET busy! Genesis 1:1 says that God created the heavens and the earth. There were no warm up verses and it does not say that God procrastinated and got started the next morning after a good nights sleep. It does not say that God waited as He analyzed the next step. God got busy. He created. By using the word "created" God took action. So many times, we have great intentions but we NEVER DO ANYTHING. Action produces results. Great intentions create NOTHING. Oh I know, I do not like making mistakes either and if I just make sure everything is just right, then success will follow.
2. Be realistic. God did not make the world and universe in one day. I have no idea why he did not but can make at least one solid argument. The Bible teaches us how to handle life. The Bible answers many questions and can be applied to an endless number of situations. By creating everything in a number of days, God teaches us that creating ANYTHING special takes time. But, what does taking time show us? It shows us the meaning of persistence, consistency in effort, and it allows us to ask God for guidance because He, too, has built things over time.
3. Have a plan. Ah, this takes me back to the "Guru Days of Old". It was Stephen Covey who wrote "Begin with the end in mind." Although we do not have access to God's business plan or blueprint for the creation of EVERYTHING, it makes sense to me that He had a plan. Man was not made first. If he would have created man first, then secondly he would have had to create a life jacket so the oceans could be created. We have ideas and strive to create. Maybe you want to create the dream life. If you do, how do you see the ending?
4. Evaluate your work as you go. After God created light, He was pleased.Now go read that first chapter of Genesis and you will see for yourself that after God created, He evaluated His work. Take time to look at what you are making and creating. Do this as you go so that you can make changes and adaptations to your creation. Life does not offer us many "re do" situations. We cannot just jump in and make a mess of something so that we can start all over again. I know, some people seem to do this over and over, but life is way too short.
5. Rest. Seriously, God took a day off. True, it was His LAST day off, but once man was created and acted a fool, God has no one else to mind the store. Again, the Bible TEACHES us here as God does not need a day off, but He knows we do. I have been guilty of overlooking this. In my work past, 2 days off from one job gave me the opportunity to work another job. I did this so I could pursue the American Dream but ended up with a long chapter of my life that had nightmarish consequences. I guess that is why God created light first, so we could see where we are going if we open our eyes.
I have given you a brief little lesson on goal setting. Please take off your "Hello, my name is ___" sticker.For those of you who did that, seek help. I will not be holding an 8 hour seminar on Genesis Goal Setting...oh, but wait, maybe I will. Then I could sell tapes and books. I must go on line and order a bunch of name tags.
The beginning of the Bible describes the formation stage of our earth and our universe. God's plans and actions are spelled out and defined. Creation. Wow, that one word carries a lot of weight.
Daily, we go about our lives creating things in our little worlds. Think of the the catch phrases and cliches that revolve around creation. Are you creating new opportunities or are you creating a new product? Maybe you are exercising in the creative arts or praising a new favorite artist for their creativity. Football season is coming and we will hear about how Tim Tebow can create quickly on his feet when 11 guys are trying to catch him. I am sitting here in the dark at 5:30am trying to create a blog that has more than eleven subscribers. (I'm just saying. I suppose that is 77 in dog subscribers, huh?)
Now that we have determined that creation lives all around us, we must look at goal setting. I remember in the 1980s when meetings were held all the time about everything. Guru after guru peddled their "creative" approach to goal setting. Hour after hour were spent reading books, listening to tapes or attending lectures where we all wore "Hi, my name is ___". Each expert put their spin on the topic of goal setting. Many of these gurus are still around and even more are no longer relevant. I guess they did not apply their goal setting to long term goals. And, there is one thing still alive and kicking-The BIBLE.
The way I see it, the wheel does not need invented. Why don't we use what we can find just about anywhere to help us how to set goals for creating something? Hey, if the plan worked for creating the world, surely we can apply it to starting a small business or creating a great meal. Here are 5 lessons we can use and apply from Genesis 1.
1. GET busy! Genesis 1:1 says that God created the heavens and the earth. There were no warm up verses and it does not say that God procrastinated and got started the next morning after a good nights sleep. It does not say that God waited as He analyzed the next step. God got busy. He created. By using the word "created" God took action. So many times, we have great intentions but we NEVER DO ANYTHING. Action produces results. Great intentions create NOTHING. Oh I know, I do not like making mistakes either and if I just make sure everything is just right, then success will follow.
2. Be realistic. God did not make the world and universe in one day. I have no idea why he did not but can make at least one solid argument. The Bible teaches us how to handle life. The Bible answers many questions and can be applied to an endless number of situations. By creating everything in a number of days, God teaches us that creating ANYTHING special takes time. But, what does taking time show us? It shows us the meaning of persistence, consistency in effort, and it allows us to ask God for guidance because He, too, has built things over time.
3. Have a plan. Ah, this takes me back to the "Guru Days of Old". It was Stephen Covey who wrote "Begin with the end in mind." Although we do not have access to God's business plan or blueprint for the creation of EVERYTHING, it makes sense to me that He had a plan. Man was not made first. If he would have created man first, then secondly he would have had to create a life jacket so the oceans could be created. We have ideas and strive to create. Maybe you want to create the dream life. If you do, how do you see the ending?
4. Evaluate your work as you go. After God created light, He was pleased.Now go read that first chapter of Genesis and you will see for yourself that after God created, He evaluated His work. Take time to look at what you are making and creating. Do this as you go so that you can make changes and adaptations to your creation. Life does not offer us many "re do" situations. We cannot just jump in and make a mess of something so that we can start all over again. I know, some people seem to do this over and over, but life is way too short.
5. Rest. Seriously, God took a day off. True, it was His LAST day off, but once man was created and acted a fool, God has no one else to mind the store. Again, the Bible TEACHES us here as God does not need a day off, but He knows we do. I have been guilty of overlooking this. In my work past, 2 days off from one job gave me the opportunity to work another job. I did this so I could pursue the American Dream but ended up with a long chapter of my life that had nightmarish consequences. I guess that is why God created light first, so we could see where we are going if we open our eyes.
I have given you a brief little lesson on goal setting. Please take off your "Hello, my name is ___" sticker.For those of you who did that, seek help. I will not be holding an 8 hour seminar on Genesis Goal Setting...oh, but wait, maybe I will. Then I could sell tapes and books. I must go on line and order a bunch of name tags.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Stonewall, Coach and Jesus
It has been a while since I posted and the title looks as if the heat of Florida has finally gotten to me. I am a big self reflector. Sometimes that is healthy and sometimes merely aggravating. This time, I am not sure which one it is but the focus of my soul searching revolves around effort. For instance, my blogs have been scarce lately and that all falls on me. My real estate activity recently has been lower than expected and, well, my real estate efforts have been less than active. I am beginning to see a correlation between effort and results. And I did not need my Sherlock Holmes hat.
But why and how does that pertain to the title of the blog. I am referring to Stonewall Jackson, John Wooden and, well, Jesus Christ. I suppose that one was a given huh?
Stonewall Jackson, an iconic Confederate General, led an interesting life in addition to many men to victory. To say he was eccentric would be like saying LeBron James plays a little ball. He sucked on lemons, felt pepper was not good for his health and memorized the lectures he gave while teaching. He had a couple of sayings that I think certainly can drive home the importance of effort.
1. MYSTIFY AND MISLEAD THE ENEMY
You will run into naysayers, critics and downright mean people. How you deal with them will determine if you let their evil intentions rob you of your zealous intentions. Remember this Stonewall-ism when we get to the last guy.
2. RESOLVE TO PERFORM WHAT YOU OUGHT; PERFORM WITHOUT FAIL WHAT YOU RESOLVE
So basically, do what you feel is worthy and useful and do not let anyone or anything stop you. Maybe it is an athletic pursuit. Maybe it is looking for a job. Maybe it is building your business by picking up that 300 pound phone. If it is worth doing, then just do it. I guess that creates a "Stonewall Jackson meets Bo Jackson".
Coach John Wooden's name warms the hearts all all basketball fans and coaches. The man defined college basketball through his career. He has inspired coaches, players, fans and people everywhere. I use Coach Wooden's words all the time in my life. And my 2 favorites are:
1. BE QUICK BUT DON'T RUSH
Do NOT fall prey to "paralysis by analysis". This means if the opportunity looks good, then add your favorite cliche..(strike while the iron is hot, opportunity only knocks once, don't look a gift horse in the mouth). A fast pace to life ensures you are not merely existing but experiencing life at its fullest.
2. FAILING TO PREPARE IS PREPARING TO FAIL
That says a lot, doesn't it? This one statement forces a person to accept responsibility for whatever is in their life. I talk to people daily who do not actively seek employment or opportunity yet become frustrated and befuddled that they have no money. What does it take to succeed? Prepare for success and following Stonewall #2 after heeding the Coach's words.
Jesus. I do not feel that He needs much of an introduction. It seems people either love or hate Him. If one looks just at His writings, He offers some amazing advice that if lovers and haters followed, our world would be a better place.
1. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF
This teaching almost becomes cliche and that is a shame as it loses its power that way. Treat others the way you want treated. Do you want constantly criticized? Do you want people to gossip about you? Do you want people to manipulate you or your feelings? I didn't think so.
2. HEART, MIND, SOUL AND STRENGTH
OK, for the sake of argument, let us apply this to ANYTHING we do in life and not just to loving God. If you go to work, put your heart, soul, mind and strength in it. If you are trying to stop smoking or lose weight, do the same. I don't know about you, but I usually unintentionally miss on one of the four. At work, I may be giving decent effort but my mind is elsewhere one day or my soul is missing from my work another day. I guess this also means do whatever you do to the best of your ability (see now apply Stonewall again)
I could have added a couple of others to the list today. Special consideration goes to Albert Einstein, Paul Finck, Annie Armen and to others who make me think on a daily basis. Stonewall, Coach and Jesus never seemed to understand the lukewarm approach. I, personally, fight the water temperature in my life. I resolve to crank up the heat.
But why and how does that pertain to the title of the blog. I am referring to Stonewall Jackson, John Wooden and, well, Jesus Christ. I suppose that one was a given huh?
Stonewall Jackson, an iconic Confederate General, led an interesting life in addition to many men to victory. To say he was eccentric would be like saying LeBron James plays a little ball. He sucked on lemons, felt pepper was not good for his health and memorized the lectures he gave while teaching. He had a couple of sayings that I think certainly can drive home the importance of effort.
1. MYSTIFY AND MISLEAD THE ENEMY
You will run into naysayers, critics and downright mean people. How you deal with them will determine if you let their evil intentions rob you of your zealous intentions. Remember this Stonewall-ism when we get to the last guy.
2. RESOLVE TO PERFORM WHAT YOU OUGHT; PERFORM WITHOUT FAIL WHAT YOU RESOLVE
So basically, do what you feel is worthy and useful and do not let anyone or anything stop you. Maybe it is an athletic pursuit. Maybe it is looking for a job. Maybe it is building your business by picking up that 300 pound phone. If it is worth doing, then just do it. I guess that creates a "Stonewall Jackson meets Bo Jackson".
Coach John Wooden's name warms the hearts all all basketball fans and coaches. The man defined college basketball through his career. He has inspired coaches, players, fans and people everywhere. I use Coach Wooden's words all the time in my life. And my 2 favorites are:
1. BE QUICK BUT DON'T RUSH
Do NOT fall prey to "paralysis by analysis". This means if the opportunity looks good, then add your favorite cliche..(strike while the iron is hot, opportunity only knocks once, don't look a gift horse in the mouth). A fast pace to life ensures you are not merely existing but experiencing life at its fullest.
2. FAILING TO PREPARE IS PREPARING TO FAIL
That says a lot, doesn't it? This one statement forces a person to accept responsibility for whatever is in their life. I talk to people daily who do not actively seek employment or opportunity yet become frustrated and befuddled that they have no money. What does it take to succeed? Prepare for success and following Stonewall #2 after heeding the Coach's words.
Jesus. I do not feel that He needs much of an introduction. It seems people either love or hate Him. If one looks just at His writings, He offers some amazing advice that if lovers and haters followed, our world would be a better place.
1. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF
This teaching almost becomes cliche and that is a shame as it loses its power that way. Treat others the way you want treated. Do you want constantly criticized? Do you want people to gossip about you? Do you want people to manipulate you or your feelings? I didn't think so.
2. HEART, MIND, SOUL AND STRENGTH
OK, for the sake of argument, let us apply this to ANYTHING we do in life and not just to loving God. If you go to work, put your heart, soul, mind and strength in it. If you are trying to stop smoking or lose weight, do the same. I don't know about you, but I usually unintentionally miss on one of the four. At work, I may be giving decent effort but my mind is elsewhere one day or my soul is missing from my work another day. I guess this also means do whatever you do to the best of your ability (see now apply Stonewall again)
I could have added a couple of others to the list today. Special consideration goes to Albert Einstein, Paul Finck, Annie Armen and to others who make me think on a daily basis. Stonewall, Coach and Jesus never seemed to understand the lukewarm approach. I, personally, fight the water temperature in my life. I resolve to crank up the heat.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
The Evil Villain Worry
Kids. Bills. Job. Health. Insurance. Taxes. The check engine
light on the truck. The leaky toilet. The economy. I could go on and on with
the never ending list of worries that pop in our minds. Big worries, small
worries, worries that climb on rocks-our lives are full of self inflicted
stressors. I can speak of worry as an expert because I come from a long line of
“worriers”. I have been trained from
birth to attempt to handle and brainstorm every single “what if” scenario.
Do you want to know the silliest of my worries? I worry
about oversleeping. I am not sure what would happen if I overslept, but I am
sure it may be the predictor of the Rapture. I bet some of you imagine that
this started after I entered the working world and you would be so wrong. Here
is where it really gets odd. I do not and have NEVER used an alarm clock. I
mean I have been like this since I was 9 years old. I wake up no less than 4 times
a night just so I can see what time it is. The sickness that lives in my head
will have me guess the time before I open my eyes, like I am going to win a
cruise or something if I am correct. I can honestly only recall 2 times or so
in my life that I slept past 10AM on a Saturday! The very first time I recall
doing that was about a week after my high school graduation and I remember
vividly my grandmother was visiting.
Why do I worry about oversleeping? All I know is that admitting my worry sets up
a nice platform to open the discussion.
1.
Most of the things we worry about never come
true, and if they do, the results are rarely catastrophic. Have I overslept in
the past? Nope. If I did, I would likely survive without losing my job and may
have to endure some teasing at work. I am fairly certain I would not be
executed.
2.
Worry is a fear without a face. In this case, my
worry about oversleeping literally keeps me awake at night and robs me of the
sleep I need. What frightens me about oversleeping? I have no clue.
3.
Worry smothers itself in negativity. Negative
thoughts then lead to negative actions which lead to negative energy and
feelings.
4.
Worry becomes a habit. I will worry if there is
nothing worrying me. Talk about toxic, self inflicted wounds.
5.
Worry stimulates the body to react to stress.
This distress has many physical ramifications that, unlike milk, “does NOT do a
body good”.
6.
Worry can be pathological.
So, what is an accomplished worrier with more than 40 years
of experience supposed to do when he knows money is tight, the job is shaky
because of a contract issue, and the IRS bill is, well, scarier than Freddy
Krueger ever could be? Besides, worrying about stuff gives me “control”, right?
Surely, if I toss and turn enough nights and make myself a sleep deprived
lunatic, I can solve this problem. Yeah, right, that has worked SO well.
What if I lean on God and look to Him for answers? God makes
it SIMPLE if we will just have faith. Look at Philippians 4:6-7, “6 Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything.
With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. 7 Then,
because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one
can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and
feel.” Then Jesus says in Matthew 6:25 “ I tell you not to
worry about your life. Don’t worry about having something to eat, drink, or
wear. Isn’t life more than food or clothing?”.
I am a work in progress. I pray daily that
God will help me overcome my issues and I know others suffer right along with
me. So, with God, I can overcome this nemesis. So , stay tuned until the next
time. Same blog site. Same blog channel.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Happens on my watch
MATTHEW 18:18 CEV. “I promise you that God in heaven will allow whatever you
allow on earth, but he will not allow anything you don't allow”.
Wow. I know that I have read that scripture before but today it provoked quite a bit of thought and self appraisal. It is amusing how “self-appraisal” always makes me say “ouch”. My mind raced as I went through my “issues roladex” tagging all the things that I allow to happen or exist in my life. These things happen on MY watch. These items, some small and some large, infiltrate my life at every turn. I “allow” myself to work in a job that deeply frustrates me at many levels. I have been a professional nurse since the mid 1980s and the health care culture as well as the business culture has changed into something that devalues and employee and respect has been fossilized. But, I go to work every day and “allow” myself to be treated in ways I prefer not to be treated. I “allow” myself to overeat and compromise my personal health. I “allow“worry to enter my mind and steal my joy, sleep and peace of mind. And, sadly and possibly most profoundly, I allow fear to dictate and control my life as I sit submissively by and watch the gift of life pass. I allow myself to “live” in fear although doing this resembles dying more than living. I allow my mind to rationalize my fear-enriched thoughts to convince myself that the status quo is OK and acceptable.
This is a big mind, spirit and even a little bit of a heart issue. My mind holds on to my insecurities with a firm grip. Rarely are situations and tasks as bad as my mind makes them out to be. Spiritually, I really should KNOW better because God’s word and Jesus’ teachings are full of hope and success. Doubt and fear ruin my witness and slow down the growth. And, deep down in my heart I must begin to feel that I am worthy. But, I am figuring out that if I give out with sincerity what I want to receive, I will in fact receive what will make my heart heal. One of my favorite authors, Tim Ferriss wrote, “Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough clever rationalization.” So, Ferriss and Matthew are on the same page yet centuries apart. If I allow bad, then I am in control of that and if I change the situation and work to allow good, then good will happen. Got to love God, don’t you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)