For those who do not know, I work in a prison and provide mental health care to inmates. Clinically, I have always been known as being very positive and quite nurturing. I pride myself on being a provider that genuinely cares.
Needless to say, my "style" is not completely accepted in the setting. Compassion may be confused with weakness, but not by the inmates. The corrections staff have began to warm up to my honest, consistent style. The thing is, I do not care if they endorse my style, I am not changing.
If you have read this blog, you know I think things happen for a reason. I see my job and profession as a gift from God so I attempt to use it to my best ability every day. Even if I do work in a prison.
Today, I saw a young man who has made angry decision after angry decision. He has been in and out of trouble for over half his life. He talked about wanting to change but knowing he would not be able to change the patterns of his life. Talking to him, I realized he was quite a bit brighter than the average inmate. I do not mean this disrespectfully, but sometimes it is obvious how some of the inmates were caught.
I talked to him about his response when angry. I asked him if he thought Dr.Martin Luther King ever got angry and that caused anger to swell in him. He said he would love to be like Dr. King but Dr. King "did not grow up like me."After discussion, he was beginning to see that he, indeed, was limiting his own future.
The Bible is full of stories in which self imposed limitations limited possibilities. Think about the Israelites initial reaction when they saw the inhabitants of the Promised Land. Think about the disciples initial reaction when Jesus began feeding the huge crowd with fish and bread. Remember what most of the religious leaders thought when Jesus said he would destroy their precious temple.
God knows no limits. He tells us ALL things are possible and my 5 year old son sings this all day long. I know that it is difficult some days to see that. I struggle myself and then begin to think I will not reach the levels of "success" I want to reach. Gee, I would like this blog to reach hundreds of people a day. But, I keep on doing what I can, and to quote a line I hear in prison every day, "it is what it is", so YOU decide what IT will be.
I watched the movie Thelma & Louise a few weekends ago. There is a great line that really spoke to me during this viewing..."You got what you settled for." It is funny how you can watch or read something many times and get something different from it each time. Anyhow, a big theme in my own personal growth recently has been this idea of taking more control, or responsibility, for myself, my happiness, my well being, etc. It is an interesting balancing act with the letting go and having faith business. But I think my response to you lately when you say "it is what is" has been "until you make it otherwise," mainly because I am working on solidifying this idea for myself. Knowing when to let go and have faith versus struggling for control can be very damn difficult sometimes. But I guess that is all part of the journey. And I have learned very recently how beautiful and amazing the possibilities can be when I find that balance! I realized I deserved better and that better really existed, and once I stepped outside of my comfort zone, boy did the magic happen!
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, don't get me started on how encouraging prison can be...I'm thinking about writing a book entitled "Everything I need to know I learned in prison!"
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