The dentist. I hate those two words and the experiences related to them. Nothing ever goes well when I go and pain usually follows. Yesterday, pain was minimal but hurt and anger were definitely challenging.
I have a bad tooth and we as a family were not sure if it would be pulled. I have found out that dentists do not pull teeth. Anyway, Denise took the kids and we all went. Mathias loves doctor offices and he found some books to read. He then started asking if he could go back to the dental chair with me and I told him that he could not go. Mathias had been up since about 5:45AM and fatigue was not helping. He began to cry and we could tell that core meltdown was imment. It was like a nuclear power plant and we knew we would have to isolate the situation of toxic radiation in the form of a full fledged, snot slinging fit. So Denise hit the elevator button and one would have thought the building had 200 floors and not 3. Needless to say, she was dragging him into the elevator crying.
Whew, I thought, situation resolved. But no, as one of the dental staff came out for another client just after the elevator door shut. She said to him in a wonderfully sarcastic tone that print does not capture, "Are you ready to go back? I know I would be if I had to be out here with THAT"
"THAT" referred to my son. My precious little man who has overcome more in his short life than anyone else in that office combined. Immediately, I could feel the OLD John begin to rise. My close friends will tell you that few have been gifted (or cursed) with a mouth and mind better to be sarcastic, sardonic, and downright cutting. I, too, wanted to just leave but I knew Denise would be frustrated with me because my tooth was killing me.
Then I recalled Pastor Steve's sermon on Sunday. Do I tell them pure TRUTH, which, well, sometimes the truth can be ugly and so can I? Or do I temper it with grace and allow anger to subside before I respond? I opted for grace.
Anger happens. We all know that Jesus showed anger but did not sin. That tells me that anger is allowed but care must be taken not to sin.
So this morning, after a good night sleep on ibuprofen and benadryl and a run this morning, I sent this letter to the dentist:
I want to first than your office for the care that I received yesterday.
Secondly, I want to inform you that my family will not be returning to
your office and that we will seek care elsewhere. I have a precious son
named Mathias, who is 5 years old and he has a condition known as Prader
Willi Syndrome. With this, he has some developmental delay issues. He
wanted to come with me yesterday and my wife Denise and I do our best to
provide him typical experiences. Well, he became upset when we told him
that he could not go with me when I was called and started crying. My
wife began removing him from the waiting area and it took a bit for the
elevator to come. Needless to say, he figured out the elevator meant he
was leaving and began crying harder. One of your staff, came out to get
another client just as the elevator door closed.
"Are you
ready to come back? I know I'd be ready to come back if I had to sit out
here with this", is what she said to the other client. If she knew I
was his dad, then she certainly was more rude than I thought.
I
have been a nurse since 1986. Sometimes staff need to refrain from
unflattering remarks because they may be ignorant to who is listening.
My son is my precious jewel, no matter if he is laughing or if he is
crying. To disrespect him angers me and makes me feel pity for those who
are careless enough to be rude.
So, I feel that grace and time served me better than truth. What a battle! I thank God for convicting my heart.
What about you guys? Any truth/grace stories?
Good morning!
ReplyDeleteOh my. I can so relate to this subject, recently. Where my child is concerned, I feel very much as you have reported and can act very similarly to what you have described here. I was presented with a particular situation twice in the past week, and leaned on the Lord and kept my mouth shut the first time. I remember when that feeling rose up in me to attempt to set the situation right, I had this thought come to mind, “And Whom should you let take care of this, Hayley?” My mouth remained closed and I silently gave thanks to the Lord for prompting and redirecting me. I thanked Him all day for helping me.
Yesterday I found the situation was still not resolved and the issue occurred again, with the same person. I really should have removed myself from the immediate conversation at hand and went and prayed in a serious way. But…I rationalized with God and myself that something should be said and that I would control my mouth. Within a few minutes of further conversation, I had begun to lose that ability. The Lord in all His infinite goodness and understanding, gave me Grace, instead. He gently tapped my shoulder during my monologue and kind of brought it to my attention that I was not letting Him take care of it like we had agreed. I stopped and apologized for where I had headed and removed myself from the situation. And as of this morning, God did, indeed, work it out. I am very thankful that He did.
I am a work in progress, still.