3 Ways to Combat Disappointment

I have an idea for a great vacation. I want to go to Vancouver Island and spend a week hiking and camping in the woods looking for Bigfoot. I want to do the night hikes, the calls, the wood knocking and spend time kayaking around the island. To me, this sounds like an amazing adventure. To my surprise, when I mention this plan to my wife Denise, she politely listens and then says in a calm, quiet manner, "No." It does not sound like much fun to her and she is sure the kids would not like it either. And after reflection, I am not sure how I would deal with the 50 pounds of cheese we would need to go with all the "whine" Denise, Madi and Mathias would be serving. My point is, even though it seemed perfect to me (still does BTW), my vision was not shared by my family.

Daily I talk to people who are disappointed. They are disappointed in themselves or they are disappointed in someone else. Many times, this disappointment leads to arguments, tears and sadly, bloodshed. When people are disappointed, they feel let down, betrayed or ignored. I never claimed to be a genius, but being let down, betrayed and ignored do not rank highly on the ways people want to feel. Now, utilizing my familiar Stooges Rule (3 things or bullet points to a topic), I will share 3 ways to combat disappointment.

1. Do NOT place your dreams, ideas or expectations on someone else's behavior. My idea of a vacation is not shared as fun or worthwhile. Have you ever heard anyone say, "I did not like the way they treated me at that party."? The person slighted them or maybe poked fun of them in front of someone they were hoping to impress. The slighted person gets angry and hurt because they thought the other person was their friend or had their back. What happened is that a person became hurt over the actions of another they could not control. You want your kid to be a brain surgeon? All parents want their kids to succeed but remember that some kids want to be the best starving artist they can be. In other words, do not define another person's success based on your standards. If you have underaged children, of course this doe not fully apply: they will do as you say, when you say...(sarcasm intended)

2. Make sure your vision is not clouded. Perception can be seriously impacted by cloudy or foggy conditions. This is where I ask you to stretch your comfort zone. Our cloudy vision often occurs without out knowledge. Years and years of experiences-some good, some bad- lead to conclusions that we rarely challenge. For years, I assumed that the Bible says a person will go to Hell if they commit suicide. That statement is nowhere to be found in the Holy Bible. People feel that network marketing is an illegal pyramid scheme but the truth is a few bad business apples have ruined the perception of the industry. I personally know some very genuine people who are living a dream lifestyle helping others. Open your mind to possibilities as long as those possibilities are legal, ethical and moral. I also recommend that the ideas also fall in line with your core spiritual values.

3. DO NOT accept expectations placed on you that are not in YOUR interest. People want to control other people. It is human nature. Anxiety rises when a person tries to meet the expectations of another that they just cannot meet. Insecurity begins to blossom and then all of a sudden, a person has a bumper crop of insecurity. Again, the boundaries must be defined by ethics, legality and morality. As Billy Shakes said, "To thine own self be true." Strive to meet your OWN expectations. If others do not like this approach, they need to read #1.

Today, you will either place an expectation on yourself or someone else. Chances are, an expectation or two may not be met. It is not the end of the world. It is merely a new staring point. Success has more than one path and surely more than one definition.